Why We Miss Rodney Dangerfield

Let’s take time out and have a little levity…

Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield ?

    Because he said…..

  • My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

  • It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

  • Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble
    was, she was coming home.

  • A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was

  • A hooker once told me she had a headache.

  • I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

  • If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no! sex life at all.

  • I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the
    morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’

  • I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your
    head in case the bag over her head comes off.

  • I knew a girl so ugly, they used her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

  • My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

  • I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

  • The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because
    you came home early.’

  • My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

  • I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys

  • My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

  • My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.


  • My family was so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.

I feel much better now!

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