Bud Hunt Site

Let’s start 2010 with a little levity!

At dawn the telephone rings, ‘Hello, Senor Bud? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.

‘Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?

‘Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Bud, that your parrot, he is dead’

‘My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?’

‘Si, Senor, that’s the one.’

‘Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?’

‘From eating the rotten meat, Senor Bud.’

‘Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?’

‘Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.’

‘Dead horse? What dead horse?’

‘The thoroughbred, Senor Bud.’

‘My prize thoroughbred is dead?’

‘Si Senor Bud, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.’

‘Are you insane? ? What water cart?’

‘The one we used to put out the fire, Senor Bud.’

‘Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??’

‘The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.’

‘What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!’

‘Si, Senor Bud.’

‘But there’s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?’

‘For the funeral, Senor Bud.’

‘WHAT F…… FUNERAL??!!’

‘Your wife’s, Senor Bud’, she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor-Made R580 golf club.’

SILENCE . . . . . .. . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . ..

‘Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!!’

I had a caddy once that thought he should have been on late nite television…a real comic.

I jotted down some of the comments he made during a few of my rounds.

10 Of My Ex-Caddy’s Best Comments

#10.
Me: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “I don’t think you can keep your head down that long.”

#9.
Me: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

#8.
Me: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”

#7.
Me: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”

#6.
Me: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”

#5.
Me: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”

#4.
Me: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”

#3.
Me: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”

#2.
Me: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

and the #1 best caddy comment:
Me: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”

So, who needs a caddy anyway!

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